My Mistress has been kind enough to grant me the privilege of writing my thoughts in this blog. Mistress has decided that when she writes it will be in purple and I will write in green.  

I really think that I am the luckiest subbie out there. My Mistress is a very wonderful and loving wife and at the same time she has an incredible ability to be cruel. Often I am amazed with how open and accepting of me and my many fetishes she has been. We have always been in a Ds relationship.

As I have said before, I am away due to my job and will be for a while. Mistress and I are working on a new contract because my prior service to her was substandard. As Mistress has pointed out she was promised certain things and I failed her for too long. So we are working on correcting my many faults. Since I have been away she has told me about all the things that I did wrong and how I had hurt her. I can be childish and demanding and am not very good in bed. Mistress told me that I am like being with a 17 year old virgin. It is a shame that I am not able to give her what she deserves in that area.

Now I should say that Mistress cares about me and loves me a great deal just as I do her. And as much as she is in charge we chose this life together and complement each other in a wonderful way. After much discussion we have come to the understanding that Mistress wants to be served and worshiped, making all the decisions. And I would like to be humiliated and degraded, to serve Mistress and be kept in chastity. Mistress has started to humiliate and degrade me more often and is settling into it well. She has a very aggressive and dominant personality that she, in her day to day life, is forced to curb. This is great for us as I wish to be humiliated. I don’t know why but when she berates me or talks down to me I become incredibly aroused. So with her blessing we are working that into our dynamic.

Mistress had me read an excerpt from a book that has been helpful in my attempts to please her. It has helped for this as well. I am trying to be as positive as possible and support her in humiliating me. We have talked about so many possibilities for when I come home that my head is swimming with ideas. We have talked about my new role as her house hubby. When I return home I will be doing all of the house work and living under her rule. We have even talked about the idea of her cuckolding me. A few days I broke down and told her of my deepest and darkest fantasies. Ironically she has fantasized about some of the same things. As it stands now we are working on strengthening our relationship and working together.

She has told me that I have to prove that I deserve to be a cuckold. It is an interesting feeling to be working toward something like that. I am not sure where we are going with this but I have to say that I am very happy and glad that things have worked out the way they are. No matter what I know that I have found my perfect mate and I want nothing more than for her to be happy.

My dear pet gets away from home and his pecker gets lonely and then he starts to get incredibly submissive and make all kinds of promises. That's the only good thing of having him gone. Despite all his faults he's a wonderful pet and I do love him dearly. And yes, like so many of you in chastity, his efforts in bed with his penis are lacking. When he's allowed to be aroused he's incapable of focusing on his Mistress's pleasure or obeying rules and orders.

Therefore, yes, we're taking our time apart to rework the dynamics of our relationship. I am recommitting to be more bitchy and mean which is just what he begs for. He on the other hand, is trying to learn to put his Mistress first and actually do what pleases me without pouting or attitude. We'll see how this play out over the next year. There should be many more posts to come.