I'm interested in chastity. I'm currently engaged and don't want my relationship to get messed up because I'm into the idea of chastity. I'm neverous to bring this up because she might think that I'm really weird for this idea. Any advice on what I should do?

You just need to research more on what your asking.

Check out the places below and decide what link you like best,
then decide if you want to talk to your partner or let her read one of these articles herself.

www.tickleberry.co.uk/after-dark/chastit...irlfriends-chastity/
www.chastitytube.com/information.html
www.chastitytube.com/control.html

the problem with chastity is...once you start it you never get rid of it..! i am in the belt since more than 5 years...
give your partner to read about it ,you will see the rest is easy !
reg.gweny

It's hard to give advice like this since we don't really know anything about this person. Does she already have an open mind in terms of sexuality? Have you experimented with bondage or anything at all kinky? And don't forget your instinct, although not always accurate, but you must know this person pretty well and should have some sort of gut feeling about what her reaction might be. People can always surprise you, though, either for the good or bad. If it's something you really do want to experiment with, then just talk to her about it and explain what it is. If you'd like, you can get her this book called Male Chastity, a guide for keyholders by Lucy Fairbourne. It was written for KH new to the whole idea.

And don't worry, not every woman will lock you up for the rest of your life if you tell her about it and she's accepting. My fiance has varying moods and sometimes likes to leave me home locked up on the weekends while she's at work and other times she doesn't want me locked up at all. Ultimately, if you want to do this it is her decision when and for how long to keep you lin whichever device you decide to try.

Well..if you want chastity..and will lead to bondage stuff.....you need to talk to her. If she has no interest at all in this stuff....well your screwed. She likes it on not.

If you want this..and something you cannot be without....then if she hates it....maybe not the women you need.

If you are really into this and marry a women that could care less or thinks it's crap.....you have a problem.
It's up to you.

brent,
wow. here's what i'm hearing. you are in love with this woman and you don't want anything to screw that up. not even your desire for chastity which i'm sure is a strong need. you say you are submissive. i would think that she knows what your basic personality is. i'm also assuming that she is somewhat a strong personality and that also is something that draws you to her. we on this site are all so very different, but as previously mentioned, without knowing more about you and your wife to be, it's hard to give you some advice. if you would like to talk privately and in more detail about your situation, i'd be glad to help in any way i can. josie
i didn't know i had submissive tendencies until after i was married. i was the strong one in my personal relationship. it was very difficult to bring up these new strong needs to my wife. it's not something she can identify with or that she wants to participate in. she accepts it as my problem to deal with and it's difficult at times and has led me to seek keyholders outside of my marriage. no what i truly want and obviously not good for my marriage.
we all need to figure out who we are if we are to be truly happy. if we aren't happy, it's hard to make someone else in our lives happy.
my e-mail is joe.smith777@yahoo.com

Wow! Thank you for all the input that everyone has given me. I'll read the articles that you posted. I'll be in touch as this situation continues.

Inner_Locked1 wrote:
Wow! Thank you for all the input that everyone has given me. I'll read the articles that you posted. I'll be in touch as this situation continues.

Try printing off this essay - www.chastitytube.com/control.html - and accidentally leaving it somewhere visible, such as sitting on your printer. If she asks, you could say one of your friends sent you the link for a laugh (a pre stag night giggle), and in a light hearted manner, ask what she thinks of it all.

One little cunning plan!

www.chastitytube.com/control.html

Re:What to do? 11 Hours, 48 Minutes ago Karma: -10
Well..if you want chastity..and will lead to bondage stuff.....you need to talk to her. If she has no interest at all in this stuff....well your screwed. She likes it on not.

If you want this..and something you cannot be without....then if she hates it....maybe not the women you need.

If you are really into this and marry a women that could care less or thinks it's crap.....you have a problem.
It's up to you.

Talk to her about it now!!!! i can tell you from experience there is nothing worse then being married to a vanilla woman when you are not vanilla. You can put your desires away for a while but they WILL come back because you will not be truely happy. When they do and you are married it will not only rock the boat it will sink it like it was hit by a sunami.



Try printing off this essay - www.chastitytube.com/control.html - and accidentally leaving it somewhere visible, such as sitting on your printer. If she asks, you could say one of your friends sent you the link for a laugh (a pre stag night giggle), and in a light hearted manner, ask what she thinks of it all.

One little cunning plan!

Cunning little plan is not the way to go open and honest communication is. Either way the answer will be the same either she will like it and embrace it or she will not be into it at all. And if anybody give you that old line that sex isn't everything in a relationship just tell them they are FULL OF SHIT. It may not be everything but it is 90% of it. Unless of course you want to live like we do. After work she comes home i make dinner she reads some trashy romance novel and i watch tv. This is EVERYDAY. If you don't talk about this now later in life you will grow so far apart all you will do is sit and wonder how much better your life could have been. We sit here nightly 3 feet apart on the couch with miles in between us.

rachel

Through everyone's input, especially you Josie, I'm going to slowly work up to it. I'll give slow and subtle hints as it'll take more time for her to get adapted to the idea. When I first heard of being locked up I thought that it was too far, but through the years I've realized that it's what I'd like. Thank you for your input everyone. Honesty is the best option for this.

By the way, what does the term vanilla mean?

I have had the talk a few times, and the result is always the same. I'm a two headed monster who needs to shut up and not mention this topic again. But that's life sometimes. It's not a reason not to try to be upfront, it's just a possible outcome.

ShieldingMatrix

Vanilla is just the BDSM world's way of saying conventional sex. It is hard for someone with kinky tendencies to have a spouse who doesn't enjoy the same kink. It is the eternal problem in marriages all over the BDSM online world.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanilla_sex

I have a wife who enjoy some kink but sometimes does not. It's great when she wants to. It sucks when she doesn't. Still, I have a wife many men would be glad to have because she isn't 100 percent vanilla. That is how the term is used.

For you, I think you should go out for coffee for no stated reason and find a way to steer the conversation toward alternative lifestyles. Maybe in there you mention mistress/slave or something and just see if she doesn't freak out. If she doesn't, then at another time tell her you would like to sit down on the couch and explain your kinky disposition. I've sometimes said it this way to people: "You know how a gay person cannot help their sexuality? They are homosexual. It can't be changed. Well, the sexual world isn't just homo and hetero and that's it. There are all kinds of sexualities, things about people that are just born into them. My sexuality is submissive to dominant women. It's just how I am and forever will be."

Perhaps you can change that to your liking, but sometimes in your case hearing an example of words is what you seek most.

Brent,

This is also an interesting site:
www.aroundherfinger.com/

regards,
jan

Talk to Ballman , you'll see his blogs here, he has gone through this problem
hurtboi

Open communication is the most straight-forward and honest way to determine her level of interest. At the least, you will know what to expect later. Rachel was/is correct when she said that there is nothing worse than to be only 3 feet apart... but miles between the two of you.

The better question might be how to approach your interest in femdom, chastity or interest in kinky sex. i might suggest that you initiate a discussion from the perspective of the three things said to be the cause of most divorces: sex, finances and religion. If approached in an honest and sincere manner, she may be appreciative of your concern and share her thoughts.

In the event that she comes from the "good girls don't do that" or something similar re: sexuality, be honest and tell her of your interest. It is possible that her initial response could be a self-defensive mode, thinking that area to be "out of bounds" perhaps even that you may think less of her should you not be interested or even repulsed by such a non-conventional idea.

Personally, i think the worse fear we all might actually share is the fear of being rejected. To even have such unconventional thoughts (femdom, or chastity-related) might somehow compromise the genuine respect one has worked so hard to build and maintain.

Of course, the decision is yours to make as to how this should be approached. My personal experience has been that regardless of how hard one may try, these feelings will eventually resurface. They will not go away and you actually do owe it to her (and yourself) to be honest about them to gain resolution.

Good luck to you both.