Today is day one. Today I have finally locked on my CB-3000. This time is is for awhile. I usually just put it on, get really horny eventually taking it off and jacking off. WELL not this time. It is locked on secure. I made sure i wasnt able to pull it off and squeeze my nuts through. I really wanna do it right this time. I do not know how long i will be wearing this device but i do hope it turns out to be awhile. Today was the perfect day. I had jacked off 3 times today and my dick was getting pretty raw. So this is it. time to lock up and see how far i can go. This is what i have ultimately wanted but just havent had the nerve todo it. i saw some vids online of guys around my age locked up and it inspired me. i plan to update daily on here and here the feedback for the readers who are interested. it excites me the fact that im not able to get hard and play with myself. this is the first time i have had it on as long as is have so far and when i get aroused my balls and cock hurt so bad. but i think that is the point of a chastity right? to hurt so we slaves learn our place and learn when u get hard and be controlled? but when i do get hard it rubs against my tighty whities. idk if i shouldnt be wearing them with a chastity or i should be wearing a different ttype that doesnt do that? im not sure. what do you guys think? What i think would make this a little more exciting is a butt plug. i have plenty of them and love wearing them. but its the fact that i can go out in a chastity in public and be ok with it. but wearing a butt plug while im out in public. picking up stuff at the store, or going to get my oil change. I have obviously have done it a couple times to know it feels awkward and different when ur plugged up. its something im interesed in and something im hoping that i can cope with and learn to deal. i was just wondering about gay guys if they wear plugs out as well. how you feel it about it. what you like. and anything that you could enlighten me on. this experience is going to be a crazy , and im going to love every minute of it and hopefully i can go for months and months. i will let u guys know tomorrow night how day TWO goes. listen in and let me hear u guys think.
With the home reno's progressing well and feel pretty good about the results. Then the dungeon will be put together downstairs For My Ladies use. There is a lot of equipment to set up and paint. Design and build equipment to My Ladies wishes to add in Her training of me.
This morning as i was shaving i really noticed how thin my male beard has become. At the rate all of my dark hairs will be gone by the end of the year. Then deep down inside i felt really sexy and confident that all the laser is working. Definitely have passed the point of no return in my outward appearance. As my confidence builds with my new look and people except as my normal.
My Lady went out shopping yesturday and bought somethings. Some more little bells to attach to my chastity so i will be heard like Her pups as the licences jingle as they walk. She also bought me a pretty little night gown with flower and flared trims that is very comfortable to wear. The one thing She did buy that has me a little nevous is more adult diapers. With all the heavy work i have been doing for health reason My Lady has kept me in chastity with diapers. This is more humilating then one could think. With the large bulge under my clothing my self confidence is undermined. Looking at the new package of diapers as i was putting them away.
I just recently entered into chastity under the control of Mistress B. She has tormented me to no end and has made me crave her more and more each day. It was such a lucky find to see her post about becoming her chastity slave. I have been made to watch her kinkbomb videos endlessly, and to wear panties over my now locked up cock. She has very swiftly gotten me addicted to her. If any boys here are thinking of chastity, you SHOULD contact Mistress B. You will NOT regret it! Stay tuned for updates as I progress through my chastity and sissy training with Mistress B.
Here I sit tingling with pleasure as my cock strains against its confines. The new CB6000s is even more confining than it's predecessor. As I surf the images on ChastityLifestyle I find myself wanting to unlock myself and release the pent up frustration that has evolved over the last 15 days of caged denial.
As I surf the countless images that excite me I find myself wondering how this denial can create so much pleasure. How the restlessness of my sleep and the distractions in my day can make such great pleasure. I want to release but I want more to share this denial with a partner who understands how fantastic this ache truly is.
So, it's been hot here where we live and last night I came home to Goddess Vanilla and our neighbor/friend "Tom" and his wife swimming in our pool together. "Tom" is the guy that Goddess Vanilla gave head to a few months back which really put a pause on our chastity lifestyle.
When I went to our backyard, Goddess Vanilla was chatting with "Tom" and his wife and ignoring my presence. Tom looked right at me and I felt his eyes saying "Hey, fucking loser." He was acting like an alpha dog and not a friend anymore. It was as if he "pissed" on my territory and now he owns it. His wife and Goddess Vanilla were chatting away so they didn't notice his behavior towards me.
Tom and his wife left very quickly afterwards because it was time for dinner and they were going out. After they left, Goddess Vanilla and I went up to our bedroom - she needed to be dried off and change from her dark blue speedo swimsuit into shorts and a t-shirt. (God that speedo makes her 36c's look huge). As I dried her off , she was all excited and talking like a little girl who finally got her pony. "Oh my God, slave, it was such a thrill having Tom and his wife in the pool," She said, "I feel like I'm in high school again!" She told me in great detail how Tom kept checking her out every time his wife wasn't looking and how she blew him a kiss and winked back. She said that just flirting again made her extremely wet and horny and at one point as she swam by him, she grabbed his dick under the water when his wife was getting up out of the pool. She told me he had an enormous boner and had to stay in the water a bit longer to cool things down before getting out so that his wet suit didn't give away his secret.
My Ladies judgement is so perfect it is very intimidating because She is so right. Sorry if i'm repeating myself but i am so impressed in the way My Lady is contolling my transition. Never in my wildest dreams would i have gone out and have my hair styled like the one My Lady had done to me. Now i take so much more pride in my hair and how it looks, sorry if that sounds vain. Woman i don't know come up to me and say how wonderful my hair looks. Our neighbour behind us said i looked like a girl from thr back,and My Ladies face lite up with a smile.
Then as i was shaving my face this morning i noticed how thin my beard was and the laser is really starting to work. Would say about 60% hair loss and the ones left are very thin. Being soft and smooth is very comforting and a great motivater to be femininzed.
With each passing day the realization that My Ladies and mine life style is going to work. My Lady calls me pet out in public and it has become a new normal for us.Just like My Lady has me open and close the car doors for Her and i look forward to being able to do this.
Everytime i think about the future i get so turned on with a the possibilities. These thoughts consume my every thought as to how to be My Ladies wife. Feeling quilty about not wearing all those lovely dresses hanging in the closet.
With all the work going on at our home and the completion coming so close. Even though it has been about a year when our plans started to come together. My Lady and myself have made great strides towards a total life style of chastity and femininzation.
Then there is that moment of clarityMy Lady isa natural Dominant Woman who loves to control everything around Her. The more She is needed for Her control the happier and at ease My Lady becomes. My Lady personality needs this responsability for a good base to grow from.
New Blog Post: Male Discrimination In The Fetish Industry http://autoeroticboysbentwhichway.blogspot.com/ This is the truth! This is a topic that is never discussed publicly but I'm putting it out there.
Well, it has been 2 weeks since my last entry. Had a lot of personal things happen over this time, which had prevented me from keeping updated here, and for any of my blog reading regulars, I am very sorry for the absence.
Due to the personal issues, not a whole lot has happened. Mind has been busy on that, and i have therefore been unable to do many of the things that I normally would do. I don't know if I am sorry for missing out on things or not. In a way, I'm happy for the break, because it gave me an opportunity to just clear my head completely. Lot's of contemplation on my life, and everything. Don't know that I came to any definite conclusions, but it has made me think. This may be a bad thing, but I havn't truly decided yet on if it is or not. Will just have to see what all i think about over the next week or so.
New Blog Post: Personal http://autoeroticboysbentwhichway.blogspot.com Been a busy week
I may have found a new play partner, my first personal play partner in nearly 2 years. We have a lot in common and we've been spending a lot of time together. We'll see how it works out but I'm confident for the future.
My Ladies increasing list of feminine and submissive commands soon to be habits. Some how My Lady makes these little steps feel normal in our household. Then i realize how thoughtful and clever My Lady is. Like the fact that me wearing a training bra is molding my breast. Just a little but noticable to me.
These little steps are never to hard or overwhelming but not impossible. Still cannot believe how i went out in public dressed up in womans clothes with no makeup but i did. Then as i look in the closet and male clothes are very rare now. Like the laser hair removal of all my male hair. The beard is slowly being removed and no one seems to notice except me. The smooth softer feeling of my body under my clothes feels so great.
The first time My Lady called me pet in front of Mistress J and the little laugh of suprise that came out of Mistress J. Now My Lady calls me pet in front of any one and i feel comfortable with being called pet. After My Lady instucted me to call Her Daughter Mistress J when i address Her from now on. This had more to do with my mind set and changing. My Lady was right like She always is, Mistress J seems more comfortable talking with me, a little more self assured. Now that the status of rank has been established every one is happier.
The process of living as a permanent cuckold does take time and adjusting. As mentioned in previous blog, I believe I noted that the CB6000 dissintegrated as they usually do with permanent wear. I am back in the steel cage on profile photo. My sexy Goddess wife had a local guy she was seeing for fun sex, however, that seems to have faded quite a bit one night when he came over to our house drunk and insubordinant to her.
My Lady mentioned to me a while ago about the option of breast implants. Since then i have not been able to get the thought out of my mind. Then with My Ladies love and guidance through Her training. Now i realize that we have past the point of no return in our journey. There is no way we could live our lives as a vanilla couple because it would not be the true us.
Being on the cusp of fulfillment of our roles is getting closer. Last night i removed to the landing about fifty tree stumps. These came from our backyard where i am building a garden and a pond for My Lady. Once this is done to My Ladies satisfaction. My Lady will marry me so that ownership will be legal. We are going to have a beautiful garden wedding with all our family and friends.
While working in the loader doing the landscaping. Bouncing along i realized the diaper was more comfortable and i would have surly rubbed my skin raw in chastity. Then i thought to myself what this kind of work will be like when the implants are done. My Lady has sized me for a D cup to fit my body. Even now after wear a training bra my skin has molded into a A cup of a man breast or as My Lady says a mooboob.
Well, another week has gone by. Mistress and Master came up this past weekend, and unfortunately, I ended up having to work most of the time. Made it so that i was unable to really see them very much. Would have liked to have spent more time with them, but circumstances dictated that I couldn't.
during the time that we were able to spend together, it was quite nice. We ran through the Slave Positions a number of times, and while blindfolded. Was unreal. Was amazing how much difference it made being blindfolded while doing them. Mistress and Master were both so proud of how much better it was when i was blindfolded. The reason that i was able to do so well, is because i was able to concentrate more on them, without any outside distractions. Also, with the blindfold on, i wasn't looking at where my positioning was, and that made it so that I was going entirely by feel, instead of by sight. I think that this, over and above anything else, made the difference. Mistress and Master also made comment in this direction during our discussion.
With the big heat wave going on and My Lady being a Nurse. My well being is a big concern for My Lady. Before i go to work i have to put on an adult diaper as the CB6000 rubs my skin raw in the heat while working. Before i leave my Lady gives me a pat down to check to make sure it is the diaper is in place. My Lady is right that there is no way i want to expose myself and let any one know i'm in a diaper.
With this type of control i am very aware of the bulging material in my between me legs. Being self conscious of my situation is very humbling and fearful of being dicovered. This diaper wearing really keeps my ego in check as i may have been glowing too much from my new hair style and sucking up the compliments.
Now i'm starting to understand more, like picking out a shirt that won't show my bra straps or picking out pants the won't show the out line of my chastity. Now i worry about every hair on my body and attack the hair because it is out of place. Keeping my toe nails groomed and painted in bright red leave no don't i'm a sissy. These are the most wonderful things to learn and become self aware about my body.
As i love compliments about my hair. Now i'm just realizing how observant Woman are about appearance. With the new hair style with highlites. Ladies seem to be a little more at ease and talk about hair styles. This points out something My Lady said to me when i was first in a dress. My Lady said my whole face changed and i looked softer and happier. My Lady has shown me my softer side and now showing me my pretty side. Feeling pretty is the most wonderful feeling and is worth doing.
Last night My Lady reminded me about getting some more piercings between my coin purse and anus. So She can lock my prince albert to the new rings. This will allow a new type of chastity that will be more secure. My Lady perfers that i have a smooth appearance as opposed to lumpy bulge swinging away down there.