Married couples into Chastity-Tease and Denial

Posted by: someonechris in Chastity on Print 

hello its me chris :D

Today i was encouraged by a new friend ive made here on the lifestyle site. they've been so helpful for me so far. you know who you are and thank you much!! The reason for this post is to hear other practicing couples thoughts on chastity along with tease and deny. i have had many years in marrige my partner to me being the perfect choice for keyholder. no one knows me better than her. what i would like to learn from this forum is... what is the best way to start mildly into this fetish??  how would my future keyholder get information on the basics of chastity and tease/deny. is there information sites non-porno? do dominant females talk with each other about this fetish? if so where?

Reasons for my questions is that i am the one bringing this fetish to our relationship. being submissive myself, i feel if i am the one bringing these ideas and kinks to the bedroom. at risk that she isnt or isnt going too enjoy it, it leaves me feeling that a role reversal has happened. the things in the fetish that make it attractive to her is what im truely after.

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manlymanhood
Chaste Marriage
written by manlymanhood, March 30, 2012
I, too, introduced this lifestyle into my marriage - to which, I believe I've done it quite successfully.

A lot of guys seem to write on this blog that they want their wives to be their mistress and to deny them so with eager excitement they tell their wives all about their plans and thinking logically that she'll love it because it's all about her pleasure now. But then the wife looks at her man as if he lost his mind and it sounds like most wives don't get it.

First, A good introduction is primarily important. Instead of walking up to my wife with a chastity belt on and say "hey baby, I'm yours." or show her the website where we could order a belt to "try it out." I manned up and ordered the CB-6000 without her knowing. Then I wore the CB-6000 for three or four days without telling her about it. I made sure that I showered when she was out of the room, etc. etc. During those four days of excitement, I worked around the house, helped her with household chores, and even gave her a good orgasm by masterbation without any returned favor. After four days, she said, "somethings different about you. What's going on?" I mentioned to her "Nothing, I just wanted to show you I love you." She was so moved by that four day period of courting/loving that she reached down and grabbed my junk which was locked up. "What is that!?" At that moment, I had the keys in my pocket and I gave them to her. I said, "I wanted you to see the benefits of a chastity belt before telling you about it. The keys are all yours." She looked at me like I had just bought her a Ford Mustang or Corvette.

Prove to her by ACTION that you're being locked up is worth her while.

Then I would recommend a "burn-in" period of a couple of months. Nothing kinky to scare her off, just serve her and let her control when you're out and when you can cum. But don't nag her like a little kid. Be the man - she still wants you to be a man. I'm convinced that every wife wants her man to be a man, but she wants to control his orgasm and be his only source of release.

Then, when you're in a good rhythm where she's being satisfied and you're getting frustrated because you want some attention too. (Hey, this isn't a one way street.) Don't come crashing down on her that she isn't dominating you like you'd like. At this point, buy for yourself the book "Uniquely Rika" from amazon and read it front to back by yourself. Then, introduce her to the book but only after you've gotten your own understanding straight.

You have to allow your wife to let go of her inhibitions at her own pace. Gently supporting her own kink (which you'll think is utterly vanilla) until she can grow in confidence with her own sexuality. If you're like me, you'll introduce kink too soon and it becomes mechanical. So, she starts to milk you because that's what you wanted but she's not into milking. You walk away frustrated 'cause she's not into you, doesn't get you, etc. etc. She doesn't realize the gift you gave her. Whatever. Most women don't want the burden of fulfilling the dream that's in their guy's head. It's weird. It's "uncharted waters." It's scary and even repulsive. Wives just want to have sex that makes them feel alive.

All this requires a hell of a lot of patience - cause lets face it - you probably already have in your mind the kinky scenerio all mapped out in your head. But your wife probably ain't the Divine Bitch you see on the web.

My wife and I have had an amazing run these past two years - read my blog on this site. I'd say, we're just getting to understand this lifestyle, now that we've blundered through its extremes. She gets that I like to be denied and she's just starting to enjoy denying me because she knows that's what turns me on. I like being the man and throwing her down on the bed - sometimes when I'm locked up, sometimes when she's released me - to give her the love making she wants.

She now knows that what really pleases me is to ruin my orgasm. To release me, promise me the world, edge me up to a full blow, and then let go at the last minute as I writhe in both frustration and bliss. She doesn't need to fuck another guy to turn me on anymore.

Well, I rambled. Was this helpful to you?
Miss_Red_Dragon
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written by Miss_Red_Dragon, February 26, 2012
You could refer her to Elise Sutton website and The Psychoanalysis of the Submissive male - don't read the webpage yourself though. smilies/wink.gif
gary170
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written by gary170, February 24, 2012
hi
my wife and i are practicing the very same thing you are wanting , it has bought our marriage much closer as i have ended up paying more attention to her and my work , but mostly my wife , it has been a great move for us smilies/smiley.gif

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