So, Miss has responded to my begging by granting me permission to relieve myself today. But there are conditions:
She decrees that i wear a pair of ladies' panties and black hold-ups for the occasion. Then i must photograph myself so attired before starting to stroke. Once i achieve full erection, i am to remove the panties and take photos of my hard-on. Then i must hold the panties in one hand and catch all of my cum on them. More photos to be taken of the cummy panties. Finally, i have to lick and suck the panties clean and obtain photos of that too. That was a bit more difficult, trying to line up the camera to focus on the panties and then take my eye off the scene as i leaned forward to do the clean-up. After a few attempts i managed to get enough successful shots to satisfy Her need for proof.
Well i performed as required and i feel degraded and thrilled at the same time - i have successfully obeyed all Her conditions so i am confident i will be in her good books. But She will now regard me as Her cum slut and i can only wonder at what the next set of conditions will be when She once more grants me permission to jerk off. No doubt it will be quite humiliating as i have now demonstrated my eagerness to please Her on a number of occasions. And She possesses a very fertile imagination...
Undergoing some mild on-line domination at the moment. She lives some distance away so all the action takes place via e-mail. So far She has tested my obedience by ordering me to go out and buy some black nylon hold-ups and then pose in them, kneeling and holding an apple. I received this order at 10pm on a recent Saturday, giving me 48 hours to comply. Well circumstances were such that i was unable to make the purchase until Monday. After a frantic search of a number of small shops, including one where a lone middle-aged assistant treated me to a spot of mild derision, i eventually found a pair of 'nude' hold-ups in a branch of the co-op.
i went home and posed in front of my web-cam as instructed and sent the evidence off to Miss. You can see some of the results in my photo gallery. Her reaction was one of being favourably impressed but i had been instructed to buy the colour black not 'nude' so i was instructed to repeat the exercise correctly with the additional proviso that i obtain a receipt to be displayed with the unopened pack of stockings before i started modelling. This time She considerately provided me with a choice of links - one to Woman at George in Asda and one to Debenhams. In the end i made the purchase in Boots from a nonplussed female assistant who, as well as popping the receipt into the bag also placed a money-off voucher for make-up in it as well. Very helpful!
Well Miss was most pleased but it had been touch and go, for i had taken my time making the second purchase. But now She wishes to take things further. Having also obliged me to furnish a confession of my femdom wishes and desires She now knows some of the secret corners of my soul. So She is setting up a private 'group' on-line where she has promised to use and abuse me in degradation so that She may enjoy my humiliation and obedience. i am to be given regular tasks and routine chores but have no real idea what is in store for me yet and so i am a little nervous.
It all started with a picture. I was browsing porn and happened to come upon a picture of a guy in a cock cage. I jokingly sent it to my girlfriend and asked her if she wanted me to get one. In the week since I sent that things have really changed for us. Last night I had my first Dom Session. She had me shave all my genital hair. Then she put on her strap on and fucked my mouth with it for what seemed like forever. Then it was time. I got on the bed ass up and face down and she lubed me up. She was gentle only at first and soon began pounding me hard yelling at me 'you are my bitch, I own you and your cock and your ass'. She finally pulled out only to replace the small strap on with a larger vibrator. The pain was intense and sent me into a space in my mind. She was demanding answers to questions and I told her anything she wanted to hear. Her demanding voice and the pain were my entire world. When she was finally done with me she made me get up and clean the cat litter boxes naked as she watched.
We have a formal contract now, three pages long. I know it will take many more sessions and much training to make me a good little sub to her. But she has promised me nightly Dom sessions until she is satisfied that I am making progress. I have made many mistakes and the punishments are getting severe. One punishment is that she is going to tattoo 'Pet' in Chinese lettering on my side. Another was I had to clean her car out and vacuum it to perfection, all while she sat in a lawn chair and watched and while I was wearing a pair of her panties.
He FINALLY locked for ONE day this weekend...should have been for the whole weekend but I believe he is going through a denial/refusal period. What brings this on with these men that want to be dominated.
I find it extremely hard to find anything on learning to become dominant...there is plenty of information on what a sub should/shouldn't do, but how does one change her mindset to take over her new found sub that is resistant?
I am of the mindset of serving and peasing him as that is what a wife should do. It's how I was brought up, he works does well for his family and I am to take care of him. How can I change my brain. Oh, I know how. I just don't know how to get around HIS resistance without cause a rift.
So...for all you following my D/s experience over the past two months, we just went to the next level. In one of the forums, the question was asked if guys would rather drink pee or cum. I found this question a bit gross when I first read it and you can see my reaction in the forums.
However, again, my big mouth got me into trouble. I asked Goddess Vanilla what her thoughts were about drinking pee and she said that I must be interested in it because I brought it up. Actually, I was and wasn't all at the same time. You know, sounds like a kinky fantasy but don't want it to happen kind of place.
Well, last Sunday she presented a small glass with less than a shotglass amount of her pee in it. After handing it to me, she walked out of the room. I stared at it, feeling queezy and having drunk some bad liquor in the past, I've learned just down it, don't sip. So, with manly courage I quickly threw her pee down my throat - almost literally.
Hurray!!!! The second time is a charm! That and Petrolium Jelly is my new friend. Thanks to the comments I got from my first milking blog.
Woke up this morning and gave Goddess Vanilla her full body massage. (I do this daily.) As a gift, she told me I could make her cum so I got out the lube and pleasured her. Afterwards, she was very open and chatty. Happily she said, "Would you like to cum too?" "YES!" was my strong resounding answer. Inquisitively she said, "Do you need to cum or just want to? On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you need to cum?" I actually thought about it, probably a mistake on my part. "I guess if 10 means grovelling and begging to cum, I'm at an 8." Looking surprised with a furrowed brow she said, "Really?" and then said, "The last time you came, you were a real asshole for the rest of the day and you said you didn't like to cum because it makes you grumpy and not submissive to me." I thought back, "Yes, that's true, Goddess. You're right I did say that."
We were laying on the bed together with our heads on our pillows. She stopped looking at the ceiling and looked at me - dead in the eyes. "Would you rather fuck me and cum or be milked?" A torturous question. "I'd like to fuck you," I said. "No, I really don't think you do," she replied and then repeated, "You were very sorrowful the last time you came because of how it made you a jerk and not submissive to me. And, I don't want that to happen again. Is it going to happen again?" The crossroads were there before me but damn it, I can't lie - it's just not in my nature to lie to Goddess Vanilla. "Goddess, I know I'd be a jerk and not submissive. It's hormonal from my ejaculation and I can't stop that." "Hmmm," she said, "Well then sounds like you would really rather be milked than to fuck me?" The word came stammering out of my mouth before I could stop it, "Yes." "Yes, what Slave?" She wanted me to say it knowing it's humiliatingly true. "Yes, I want to be milked and not fuck you," I said straight forward. "Good boy, you made the right choice. Now go get the supplies."
My wife/Goddess is very shy (librarian type of girl) so coming up with lists and guidelines for our relationship are not her thing. She told me to anticipate her needs, write them down, and she'd evaluate them as (1) Yes, this pleases me, (2) This is a Gift to You, and (3) No, not now. Alot of what I do for her I put in my profile on this website. It's worked for us for now but last night, she made a audio recording to help our relationship go to the next level...the subconscious level.
I've always been easily subseptable to suggestions especially when I'm half awake at night or in the early morning. Once I watched Paranormal Activity at 3 in the afternoon, laughing all the way through it. Then I watched it at 11:00 pm at night and literally couldn't fall asleep without jumping out of my skin as I dozed off for a month.
Also, I've noticed that I am very submissive feeling and very prone to suggestions at five in the morning for the past two weeks. I keep thinking of my Goddess and our relationship at that time of the day.
Miss Jen put me in my chastity yesterday after a short release to shower, shave and clean the device. She loves teasing me in the device and seeing how I try to get erect. Without the device, I am about 8 inches, so the CB3K really makes it a short growth before the constriction starts.
I woke up three times through the night with painful erections. I got out of bed each time, walked around a few moments to ease the erection, the I was able to sit and go to the bathroom. I recall from a previous time in chastity that you should never ty to force anything through the chastity while erect.. it can cause damage internally. (I learned this the hard way - no pun intended)
My wife is pregnant again. Last time she was not very active sexually, she didn't feel like sex. I was as horny as a toad the whole time. It was a cause of great frustration between us.
This time it is somewhat different.
My wife has become more assertive ever since I handed over the keys. She said there will be no sex (ie, fucking) for two years - until the baby's first birthday.
Well, they finally arrived. My wife decided that it was time for a "boob job" and move from size 4 to size 10 forms.She has had me wearing a bra and the smaller forms for about 2 years almost every day. Since I have a big frame, they are not very noticeable under a loose shirt unless you looked hard. The Wife feels that I should always be reminded of my subordinate role and her control of not just my cock, but all aspects of how I dress and what I do or don't do.
I guess I was getting just a little too comfortable and a little sloppy so she decided to make a more visible statement so to speak. We went shopping last week, and I was directed into Macy's to purchase three new bras. For my forms I prefer a underwired demi-cup bra, and a "B" cup push-up bra for regular wear. I picked out three nice ones, size 40B, and started to walk to the check out stand. As I approached it, my wife suddenly grabbed the bras and started into me about buying the wrong size.
Rather loudly it was made clear that I was supposed to get a 40D cup, unlined with full underwire and plenty of support. She asked how did I expect a "D" sized breat to fit in a "B" cup, and so on.... With that she asked one of the clerks where the plus sized full support bras were. The clerk, probably no more than 20 years old, led us to the back wall, and suggested that Bali made by far the best full support bra.
Hey! What a night! I must have only slept a couple of hours altogether! All night my mind was swimming with horny scenarios! The psychological effects are really kicking in now! YAY!
I would lie down and close my eyes to be met with images of:
Me bent over having my bum paddled till it was bright pink.
Of Princess demanding I dress up in heels, stockings and corset to serve her champagne and strawberries while she plays games on her computer and ignores me.
Of me being tied to the bed and teased till my balls go purple with the strain and Princess fucking herself with a huge dildo at the site of my discomfort.
Of Princess tying me into an all fours (doggy) position and playing with my ass so much that she can strap on fuck me in the ass on cam for her punters while I yelp and skwirm.
Of being tied up against the door with Her in a black PVC Catsuit whipping me with Her riding crop till bright red lines are all over my bum.
Of being dressed in a sissy maids outfit and made to help her perform her web cam duties by getting her drinks and lubing up her toys before being made to watch Her play with Her Pussy and dildos.
Of Princess bringing a girl friend home and making me strip naked so they can inspect Her cock, then them kissing and getting it on while I am hand-cuffed and forced to watch as they bring each other to climax.
Literally my mind was swimming with these and loads more scenes!
Also I should report, I have started to have random outbursts lately, I seem to just suddenly snap, about nothing at all (I think it is almost certainly down to the psychological effects of the lock-up as I am a very chilled person) so I think I may well be getting punished soon, Princess doesn't like me snapping.
