So, back in August I purchased a Dreamlover 2000 but I was afraid to present it to Goddess Vanilla. I thought she would find it offensive, being a lack of frugality, or just plain weird because besides our cuckold/chastity lifestle, she's quite vanilla.
I gave her the Dreamlover 2000 for Christmas on Christmas eve. When she unwrapped the gift and zipped open the box, her eyes lit up with what I can only describe as an evil glint. Truly, she had an evil glint in her eyes. Something I've never seen from this mother of two children and kind person. "Is this what I think it is?" She said with incredulity and after I said yes, she followed up with something I wasn't expecting, "I was hoping you were going to do this. Put it on right now. Finally, I'm in control."
I was happy she approved of the gift and I was eager to wear it and show her how to work the controller. I had tested it before so I knew what it felt like to get zapped. She smiled and said "what button do I push?" I showed her the three buttons * ** ***. She pushed each one to test it. I jumped with each zap. I laughed a little but it definitely gets my attention. It's like someone giving you a static charged zap after shuffling their feet on the floor right on the end of my dick.
Goddess Vanilla ruined my orgasm the other night, again by just stroking my finger like it was my dicklet. (See my forum entry for details.)
While stroking my finger, she continued to insult me. At first, it was playful insults but then she began to "twist the dagger" and started hitting on real issues that are deep in my psychie.
"You're a pathetic loser," as she repeatedly said to me as she stroked my finger. I got hard just from knowing she was playing this game. "See, you're such as loser that you get hard without me even touching you." Her acknowledgement of my excitement only fostered more excitement out of my control.
I haven't been writing in this blog for awhile because I'm in an uncertain place. Goddess Vanilla has a very effective habit of getting me to share my deepest sexual fantasies at the height of sexual arousal. She has increased this practice from twice a month, to once a week, and now twice a week.
When I get teased beyond control, I find myself saying things like I want to be cuckolded and that I wanted to be "put in my place" and that she's far better than me and deserves better. Afterwards, I realize I was truly out of control because I wouldn't say those things to her knowing that it gives her way too much power to act on them and for me it's just fantasy. I really don't want her to cuckold me. But when I'm being denied and teased relentlessly, I can't stop myself from talking. The more she gets me aroused, the more she makes me talk, the more I talk and get myself in trouble, the more aroused I become. It's a terrible cycle.
For the past two weeks, she has humiliated me while making me cum and it's a real humiliation - not just play. Especially when I'm not hard and can't get hard until she starts to tell me that my cock is a pathetic little thing compared to what she sees on internet porn. "You love to be denied that's why you're locked up in a chastity belt. That's why you brought this into our life, isn't it?" She stops rubbing my cock until I admit she is right then she says "Your little cock and your wrinkled balls from the chastity belt, and your fat stomach don't turn me on. I want a big cock and a rock hard stomach. You can't give me that, so what am I to do? Don't you want me to have the best of everything?" She'll stop rubbing and then rub alittle then stop again until I say, "yes, you deserve the best." "Slave, what does that mean then?" And I grimmice, knowing what she wants me to say. I fight it but I'm weak. She says again, "What do you want for me?"
