He FINALLY locked for ONE day this weekend...should have been for the whole weekend but I believe he is going through a denial/refusal period. What brings this on with these men that want to be dominated.
I find it extremely hard to find anything on learning to become dominant...there is plenty of information on what a sub should/shouldn't do, but how does one change her mindset to take over her new found sub that is resistant?
I am of the mindset of serving and peasing him as that is what a wife should do. It's how I was brought up, he works does well for his family and I am to take care of him. How can I change my brain. Oh, I know how. I just don't know how to get around HIS resistance without cause a rift.
First the facts: I'm an ordinary guy in my mid 50's that enjoys all kinds of Kink, BD, Femdom, etc., at least in fantasy. I'm a closet submissive with an active fantasy life. I have also put on a few extra pounds in the past year that, up to now, I have been unable to take off. I have been happily married for nearly twenty years to a beautiful wife who is in her early 50's and still has the same slim figure she had when I married her. I also have a strong sex drive - not quite insatiable but pretty close. In fact, until recently, unless I was sick, I mean really under the weather, I have probably masturbated to orgasm at least once a day for my entire adult life, even when I was getting sex regularly from girlfriends and then my wife. My wife's sex drive has waned over the years - particularly in the last few years as she's gone through menopause. If it was entirely up to me, I would have sex with my wife everyday. If my wife was deciding on frequency of relations purely on her own sexual desires, then once every two or three weeks would be fine with her and it would be no big deal to entend that out. We have pretty much compromised to once or twice a week, sometimes less when she's not feeling well or has one of her frequent bladder infections.
The Solution: Given these facts, why not live out one of my fantasies, that of enforced chastity, while losing weight in the bargain. Problem - my wife is totally vanilla in her sexual interests. Previous attempts to interest her in even light bondage or domination has met with absolute refusal if she was to be the bottom and a kind of bemused indifference (like "whatever") when I offered to bottom. Solution - I proposed to her that I use desire for sex as an incentive to lose weight. I did this without using the "Chastity" word, a word that would surely put her off. I offered to deny myself sexual release (she understands this as no sex with her; but my real intention is no sexual release at all - i.e. no masturbation) unless I lose a pound, and then if I achieve that, go into orgasm denial until I lose another pound, etc. until I lose 15 lbs. Well, she loved the idea. She's wanted me to lose weight (she's very big on healthy eating and weight control and, she'd prefer to have sex less often, a lot less often. Voila - a perfect match.
Besides not using the word "Chastity" with my wife, I also left out the small detail that I would be using a device, a chastity device to control or deny myself the ability to give myself sexual release. Hence the name of this blog: Secret Chastity Husband. Now this is going to be interesting! How do I hide it and when and how do I tell her (or do I).
First things first, I researched chastity devices and decided the CB-6000 looked like the best bet (I'll be uploading a picture when I get a chance). It was done by process of elimination. Chastity belts were out of the question - no way to hide that and most were too expensive. Prior models were the CB-2000 and CB-3000, but I figured there was a reason they went to a new model - apparently, the hinge type ring was irritating. I received the CB-6000 three weeks ago and tested it out. I'll describe my first impressions in my next post. I started the diet twelve days ago and I've lost 3 lbs in that time - not bad considering the period covered the Christmas Holiday and New Year's Eve. I'll write more about the diet and the effect of orgasm denial on will power in future posts. Until then - long live polycarbonate material and fresh fruits and veggies.
KelMag
My wife is pregnant again. Last time she was not very active sexually, she didn't feel like sex. I was as horny as a toad the whole time. It was a cause of great frustration between us.
This time it is somewhat different.
My wife has become more assertive ever since I handed over the keys. She said there will be no sex (ie, fucking) for two years - until the baby's first birthday.
We had a wedding anniversary recently.
As my gift to my beloved, I handed over the key to my CB6000, a certificate of chastity, and a signed contract with the terms and conditions. The period of the contract is ongoing and unlimited, so now I am in complete sexual submission to her.
She is still rather new to this, so we had a discussion about what might be my limits, turn-offs, etc. We've had this discussion before, of course, but I think she wanted to know if my answers had changed now that I am locked-up.
