Hi there,

I feel the need to confess something! and that is my experiences with chastity in the past. It is embareshing to me and also very exciting to me to post this and yes I am in the right state of mind to post this!

As I might have mentioned in a previous comment to a posting, I am conservative when it comes to sex. Sex is something that I do not take lightly and in my opinion is something that belongs into a serious relationship or preferably marriage! I do not indulge or belief in one night encounters and have never pushed a girl in that direction. So I was the perfect gentleman in my youth.

At age 34 I was still a virgin. Yes I watched porn movies ( I called it educating myself), I masturbated since I was 12 on a frequent basis, had several girl friends and still had not done IT! In my belief system I wanted to wait till I was married. Then I met this gorgeous 32 year old who lived in America most of the time, but came home to her land of origin once a year to visit her family and that was where I lived. This was in the early 90's. Well her mom was in a nursing home, her dad had passed away, so she lived in my house.

We made strict rules on not sleeping with each other. She also was a virgin and we made rules to keep each other chaste. This is most likely where my current interest in chastity comes from, because she really made a mark on me in that department. We dated for 2.5 years and all together she lived in my house for almost a year and a half. This was in 3 periods and the longest was almost 9 months. She had her own room, locked the door etc.

The third time she stayed with me, things had become very serious. We had talked about obstaining from sex including masturbation while we were together before and this time we had made a promise not to indulge in that and really stay chaste. We had made the rules while still apart and had made an agreement under which condition each one was allowed to come. We had to tell each other openly our state of mind and agree between the two of us, when it was allowed to give in to our feelings of hornyness. For her it was a lot easier to refrain from masturbation than it was for me. We knew that from the get go, so I was allowed to come 5 times for her 1 time. We also decided to make masturbation when allowed, as uninteresting as possible. So no privacy when doing it, not doing it in each others pressence or line of sight.......and if we did catch each other masturbating, a punishment would be in place. She wrote a note with a point system on it and we decided that if any of us would make it past that maximum amount of points a punishment would be executed. There were various punishments on the list. I made them for her, she made them for me. Some we made together. Some were secret for each other........ especially in the higherr ranking punishments!

I had no idea what the high punishments were, so as far as I was concerned, she could have made an eunuch out of me. So I was lets say highly motivated to keep my end of the bargain!

There were many rules, but one of the things we agreed upon, was that each of us would write on a calendar that both of us could verify, how our hornyness was on a scale of 1-100 on a daily basis, we also wrote a T for touching other than to pee or shower. We had a locked box in which we would drop a note with a date and an M for masturbated and N for nocturnal emission or erotic dream.

To have a referee, her mother was informed about our decision. She was a very nice lady in a wheel chair and lived about 30 minutes away from my house. She was the one who would count the M's and N's and open the box somewhere in the future.

I only can tell you that it was hard on me. This was before I did know about chastity devices, if they even existed in the early 90's for men. I was horny as hell with a gorgeous woman in the house. Yes we French kissed, I played with her breasts, she ran over my chest, with stocking gloves, we dressed up daringly, but we stayed above the belt at all times. Legs were Ok, but not there were they connect. We massaged each other and excited each other. We never did see each other naked though. That was one of the rules. We had plenty of opportunity for that after marriage we figured.

Now regarding masturbation; we bought a pair of vibrating balls for her and if it was agreed upon by both of us, she was allowed to wear them and  be allowed to have an orgasm that way, Thist then happened while on a walk or a bike ride, in the gym on the tredmill or during a ride in a roller coaster. Those were freebies for her! As I said we were creative. I was ordered to masturbate by her in a condom, whenever she did see fit. This was done in public toilet stalls, in her mother’s bathroom with the door left open, in a swimming pool stall, in a dressing room in a clothing store..... at all times in places where it was impossible to be alone and possible to be caught by the public. Any place that would spoil the fun, or even would make it impossble for you to breathe hard or moan.

The volume in the condom was important, if it was below what we called average (by weight and transpancy), it would give me points, if not I walked away with a freebie.

So when I was horny for a couple of days and then all of a sudden was mellow again, she would hand me a condom at a surprise moment or tell me to feel in my pocket or look in a toothbrush cup in the bathroom and off I went to that bathroom, or to any place she told me and masturbated till the last drop I could produce. Put a knot in the top and she would weigh the thing at home. We agreed on pass or not pass together and she would put a piece of paper in the box with the date and my signature when it was a not pass. These points were heavier since I basically was caught. It was better for me to confess to the box myself. Dates would prove I did! If we determined, it was a no pass, the box would be in her possession for the next 3 days without me being able to slip a note in it. Confession notes not within a 3 day time zone of a no pass,would not count as a confession for that occurance of failure. So it was hard to cheat. You might say it was harder for me then for her. That is true, but we compensated that by giving 5x more points if I caught her and due to the woman’s cycle it was very predictable when she would be horny. It was kind of predictable on me too, just by watching my behavior.

If I had a nocturnal emission, I was supposed to tell her at the earliest possible time and we would write a note on that as well with a lesser amount of points. If I did not tell her or I masturbated in secret, she would find out by my mood and order me to prove my faithfulness. Nocturnal emissions I never had! I faked one though after not being able to control myself one early morning, but it was agreed upon that 6 days after an ejaculation would be too soon for a nocturnal emission. So we agreed that at least 14 days had to pass before we would agree upon one.

The longest time I stayed chase was almost a month……26 days to be precise. By then I basically begged her to let me cum and she agreed to give me a release. The bad thing about a long time of abstinence though, was that after I did get that release, I felt a need to masturbate for almost a full week before things were back to normal. She did recognize that and did catch me twice in a row with 3 days intervals just by having me fail by volume when I was ordered to prove my faithfulness! Ouch!

In general we were nice to each other, if we did know the other one was struggling we would help each other out. Times were made longer and longer though in between relief over time.

So one month before she left again for the USA, we opened the box with her Mom and she counted the M's and N's for both of us. I lost. I lost miserably………..I do not even want to confess how miserably. It was more than the 1 to 5 ratio I mentioned earlier! The punishment that I got was, that I was going to let myself be circumcised. This was something she wanted before marriage and I had declined. It is very unusual in Europe. I know it is the norm in the USA, but it is almost impossible to have it done in that part of Europe, unless there is a very strong medical necessity. So I had to make an appointment with my family physician and basically convince him of the necessity of it. It was performed in a hospital as a daycare procedure on July 16, 1994. Just before her birthday. My fiancé was present during the procedure and watched the whole thing very carefully. How embarrassing! The 11 nights after that were sheer hell. There is nothing more painful than a piece of surgical stitching material rip through your outer penis skin and glans. She had talked to the physician in the checkup before the surgery and had asked for a high and tight and……. It was tight. I have no foreskin left whatsoever and my frenulum was totally cut out. So basically all high sensitive nerve endings were taken away. My sensitivity in that area went down too I would say about 60% after this procedure! Indeed a punishment…. for life!

You have no idea how happy I was when the last piece of the 17 stitches was finally dissolved. It took another week and a half before I ever tried to masturbate again. It was very different and even somewhat impossible. My fiancé smiled and said. I know….. that’s why I ordered it that way!

Within a couple of weeks, she was gone back to the USA and that was the last time I did ever see her! We broke up in the time we were separated and never got married!

Still the memories are very precious to me and although painful, very exciting! I miss that tension, the play and for sure, she would have become my key holder. She had everything in her to be a great dominant. Every time I go to the bathroom there is that little reminder of her that will be with me for the rest of my life!

Raindancer

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