Having read (and written) extensively on this, I have found the following themes. Any combination may exist to explain a specific couple's relationship.
Submission
Being cuckolded is often a display of total submissiveness, with the added element being that at least one other person (the lover) knows of the cuckold's role. Cuckolds may take pleasure in serving their wife and, in some cases, her lover as well. If a person wishes to experience submission, bringing breakfast in bed to his wife and her lover would surely fit the bill; and if he wants to feel dominated by his wife, having her tell him to leave them alone so they could make love undisturbed would be almost unbearably exciting! In addition, the knowledge that she can do whatever she wants with regard to sex, while he is restricted to only what she approves for him, is probably the ultimate in submission: he turns over his genitals to her, while she offers no such commitment in return.
Humiliation
Many swingers and alternative-lifestyle adherents draw the line at humiliation, and reject it with disgust. Yet these same people will accept s&m as understandable! Humiliation is, in my opinion, simply mental s&m. Why would someone choose to be "disciplined," and find it to be sexually exciting? If you can understand that, you can understand the lure of humiliation as a sexual stimulus. And if a man seeks to be humiliated, what could be more humiliating than seeing, or hearing, or learning of his wife choosing another man to bed? If the experience includes the wife acknowledging that her lover is better endowed, or a better lover than her husband, the humiliation is complete.
Jealousy
Yes, jealousy is a turn-on for cuckolds. In fact, it is probably one of the greatest ones, though few cuckolds have written about it. After all, look what he has lost: his wife's faithfulness, his wife's body (temporarily, if not permananently), his equality as a sexual partner, his dignity... and all these have been given to another man! Personally, when I began to feel jealous, I began to feel truly cuckolded - and very excited!
Voyeurism
Though I think this is secondary to the two reasons above, it is true that there are not many opportunities in life to watch two people having sex. This is why home videos are so popular! But nothing can equal the real thing, life and in front of you... and so, inviting another man into your wife's bed will undoubtedly give you a front-row seat for the festivities.
Fear
One cuckold explained his excitement as "caused by the duality of being both afraid and excited. Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac... maybe my body requires a certain amount of adrenaline, which can only be generated by fear."
What is there to fear? A cuckold can fear (while being turned on by) the thought of being humiliated in front of his wife and her lover; he can fear being told he cannot cum for a specified (and lengthy) period of time. He can fear hearing sounds of pleasure from his wife that he never heard when she was in bed with him. Or, he can just fear the unknown...
The Unknown
Many cuckolds acknowledge that they have no idea why this turns them on, but for most of us, it is a sexual fantasy of the most overpowering variety. As I told my wife, I would rather watch her in bed with her lover than have sex with any woman on the face of the earth! So, like most sexual fantasy, we may be able to explain elements of the attraction, but we cannot explain it completely. Many cuckolds relate that they had no idea this turned them on, until their wife discussed a good looking man, or related the story of a man making a pass at her. Suddenly, the husband gets a distinct message from "another authority," and wonders what the hell is going on. THAT is a cuckold in the making!
While there are women who simply cheat on their husbands, this is not part of our discussion, as it is not a mutual decision. If you find out that your wife is cheating on you, don't read this -- get to a marriage counselor, or a lawyer!
Many cuckolds describe years and years of asking their wife to have sex with another man. Usually, the wife opposes this, for several reasons. First, it goes against everything that was promised in the marriage vows, and she cannot believe that it will do anything but ruin her marriage. Second, it is often threatening to the wife, as she assumes it is a pretext for the husband to have sex with other women (if you both want to do that, have fun; you're back in the "swinger" category, and this site is not about you). Third, many wives -- especially once they are out of their 20's and no longer look like Barbie -- worry that no other man will find them attractive, and they do not want to set themselves up for a disappointment. Finally, they worry (with good reason) about all the mean, nasty stuff out there: bad people, bad vibes, bad diseases.
So, why do wives say yes? While some do it simply because their husbands are not satisfactory lovers, I believe that most begin (note that I said begin; the reasons change later) to satisfy their husband's burning desire to try this. Also, if they had few sexual experiences before marriage, they may be curious as to what else is out there, and if their sexual experiences have been somewhat tame, they wonder what all the talk is about!
Once the wife begins to see other men, it is another step -- and often, not an easy one -- to cuckold her husband. After all, she loves the guy! (If she does not love him, it's time to head for the marriage counselor or the lawyer again...) It is hard to believe that her husband really wants her to like her lover more, or at least to like sex with her lover more; it is even harder to believe that he really wants to hear that from his wife. Usually, this part begins very slowly, as the wife hesitatingly relates the pleasurable details of her tryst to her husband. She notices his outstanding (!) reaction to what she says, and notices that the more explicit she is, and the more she talks about her pleasure, the more hubby goes crazy. If her husband watches her in bed with her lover, she will be very hesitant to display her pleasure, until he makes it clear that he is very turned on by it!
So, why go through all this? In my wife's words, "I can have my cake and eat it, too." What could be bad for a woman who realizes that her husband will do everything he can to make sure she has great sex with her lover, and will welcome her home (often to a completely cleaned house ) when she is done!
And, back to the wife's initial worry that no other man could possibly find her attractive: imagine her surprise and delight when the nice looking, intelligent guy she meets is very turned on! Seeing him hard, feeling him get excited as she undresses, as she touches him, as he touches her... brings her right back to high school, but with an adult's understanding of what sex is all about. Does absolute wonders for a woman's ego!
Why Would A Wife Choose To Cuckold Her Husband?
While there are women who simply cheat on their husbands, this is not part of our discussion, as it is not a mutual decision. If you find out that your wife is cheating on you, don't read this -- get to a marriage counselor, or a lawyer!
Many cuckolds describe years and years of asking their wife to have sex with another man. Usually, the wife opposes this, for several reasons. First, it goes against everything that was promised in the marriage vows, and she cannot believe that it will do anything but ruin her marriage. Second, it is often threatening to the wife, as she assumes it is a pretext for the husband to have sex with other women (if you both want to do that, have fun; you're back in the "swinger" category, and this site is not about you). Third, many wives -- especially once they are out of their 20's and no longer look like Barbie -- worry that no other man will find them attractive, and they do not want to set themselves up for a disappointment. Finally, they worry (with good reason) about all the mean, nasty stuff out there: bad people, bad vibes, bad diseases.
So, why do wives say yes? While some do it simply because their husbands are not satisfactory lovers, I believe that most begin (note that I said begin; the reasons change later) to satisfy their husband's burning desire to try this. Also, if they had few sexual experiences before marriage, they may be curious as to what else is out there, and if their sexual experiences have been somewhat tame, they wonder what all the talk is about!
Once the wife begins to see other men, it is another step -- and often, not an easy one -- to cuckold her husband. After all, she loves the guy! (If she does not love him, it's time to head for the marriage counselor or the lawyer again...) It is hard to believe that her husband really wants her to like her lover more, or at least to like sex with her lover more; it is even harder to believe that he really wants to hear that from his wife. Usually, this part begins very slowly, as the wife hesitatingly relates the pleasurable details of her tryst to her husband. She notices his outstanding (!) reaction to what she says, and notices that the more explicit she is, and the more she talks about her pleasure, the more hubby goes crazy. If her husband watches her in bed with her lover, she will be very hesitant to display her pleasure, until he makes it clear that he is very turned on by it!
So, why go through all this? In my wife's words, "I can have my cake and eat it, too." What could be bad for a woman who realizes that her husband will do everything he can to make sure she has great sex with her lover, and will welcome her home (often to a completely cleaned house ) when she is done!
And, back to the wife's initial worry that no other man could possibly find her attractive: imagine her surprise and delight when the nice looking, intelligent guy she meets is very turned on! Seeing him hard, feeling him get excited as she undresses, as she touches him, as he touches her... brings her right back to high school, but with an adult's understanding of what sex is all about. Does absolute wonders for a woman's ego!
User Comments
Posted by monis67 on Friday, 28 December 2007 at 11:14
Well it happened last night! Months of prodding and teasing my wife jumped over her own shadow last night and took another lover.
We were 2 couples out for a nice concert and drinks when I headed off to the bathroom. I took awhile because I was locked in a cb3000. To my surprise when I opened the bathroom door (public hotel lobby) in marched my wife and lover in hand. I returned to the table and sat and waited with the other woman.
She was pissed that they just took off. I tried to calm her down with small talk and distraction. Her BF returned in no time so I said to her they must be pretending. She was relieved and we all continued drinking.
Soon we all left and went our separate ways.
On the way home my wife began to tell me about her adventure in the toilet. I did not believe her at first but inside I was straining against my cage and my heart was racing. I was flying aroused like never before. My wife promised me she had sex and I would see and taste for myself when we got home.
Sure enough we went to our bathroom and she started to mimic how and what she had done with her lover. She hiked up her skirt pulled down her panties and jutted her ass towards my face. I was told to lick and taste her swollen lips.
On and on this is not my real story the story was really about what went on in my head.
I could not sleep I could hardly lay next to her, I was still locked up so I was told I would only feel my frustrations a bit longer.
dazed and confused our morning got started with more emotional details of the toilet romp. How good it was how she loved having him inside her, how excited he was to be chosen. She described his only words as OMG OMG he came fast faster than she had anticipated but nonetheless she had accomplished her leap and she was like a new woman.
We have been talking all day now and I was finally allowed to mimic her lover...there was not talk about him being better just that he was louder and quicker. We both have no idea where this will go but I must admit I have never had better NONSEX in my life. I have never been hard that long I have never lost sleep over sex. So I guess I am hooked and my wife appears to be as well.
Posted by Ms. Darlene MacComb on Sunday, 25 November 2007 at 12:14
Its nice to see someone (at least make an effort) to explain cuckoldry beyond the usual wild fantasy stories that are in an abundance online.
